AskHappy: You ask. We do something akin to answering.

We’re excited to introduce a new End Happy feature: AskHappy, our Q&A with real questions from real readers. If you have a question for End Happy’s writers, it’s easy! Simply send an email. To us, if possible. Let’s kick things off with one of the more popular questions we’ve been getting.

Dear End Happy:

Would you rather be raped by a murderer or murdered by a rapist?

Thanks!
Kyle C.

Kyle:

First of all, something something NO JOKE.

Secondly, I’d rather be raped by a murderer than murdered by a rapist.

If I was in hospital being stitched up and overheard something like, “It’s strange, he usually kills the victims,” I think I might feel a small bit of relief.

If, however, in my death throes, I heard, “Hey, it’s that rapist who only rapes, he’s getting away,” I would feel like an asshole.

Thanks for your question!