LinkedIn corrections

I regret any confusion that may have been caused by inaccuracies in my LinkedIn professional profile.

There a few particular misrepresentations I’d like to clear the air about.

• The role of “Senior VP-Patriotism & Getting Things Done” does not exist at my current place of employment, nor was I promoted to it.

• I was not responsible for an integrated tourism campaign for King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. To my knowledge, “King of Prussia: Where you’re the king of King of Prussia” is not the official motto of King of Prussia.

• The late Charles Bronson of Death Wish movies was not a colleague of mine at any time, before or after his passing in 2003.

• I did not deliver the keynote speech at this summer’s “Emergenting of The New Medias” conference. The conference itself, and the town of 2.0, Utah, in which it was purportedly held, are fictitious.

• Although I was briefly employed in a sales capacity with Time Warner Cable, my efforts in that position did not result in a 20% decrease in meteors.

Thank you. I look forward to further discussing opportunities with your company.