It started with a whisper in the night. Well, not so much whisper as a double stabbing. And it was early morning, not nighttime.
But the time for concealment, cloaks, and half-measures is, apparently, over. Every day the voices of incivility and harassment grow louder. One man has decided to take a stand. On a table at a park.
Stay tuned.
What’s going on inside Joe Lieberman’s head? A recent brain scan, provided to End Happy by sources close to the senator from Lieberman, sheds some light.
Based on the previews alone, two dimensions just can’t do justice to every OH SNAP moment in Michael Moore’s latest project, Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story starring Michael Moore.
For example the moment when he’s all, “Where’s our money,” and Clueless Lady is all quiet, and then she’s all, “Uh … I don’t know.” OH SNAP! She seemed pretty clueless about our money. But it was hard to tell for sure.
Or when Michael Moore waves a bag at a security guard in front of a building, and he’s all, “We’re here to take the money back for the American people.” OH SNAP! But what kind of bag was that shit? You can’t hardly tell in 2 fucking D.
Like my bumper sticker says, “Somewhere in Texas a village is missing its idiot … and its 3D glasses, because I took them to go see this shit in 3D!” My bumper doesn’t say the last part, I made it up for effect. OH SNAP!
From CNN:
“I actually thank God for my addiction,” he said. “I learned more about myself in rehab than I would have ever learned otherwise…”
“Including my love for gay sex,” the broadcaster continued under his breath. The quote was taken from an NBC interview in which he aggressively tongue-lashed the media for trying to break him. The gay sex comment was not part of the official interview transcript, but several sources totally swore they heard it and will totally tell you so.
The rotund radio show host, author of several bestselling books, and former television talk show host waved his pudgy finger in the air as he proclaimed the media did not make him, while his jowls waved ferociously, like recently flicked Jell-O™. Delicious lime Jell-O™ snack, which kids sometimes choose to treat like a toy. Hey! That’s food, you fucking brat.
Limbaugh, more pudding than man, went on to claim that the election of Obama has heightened racial tensions and fueled the “race industry.” In a written statement, Bill Lester responded, “NASCAR’s popularity hasn’t really been affected either way since Obama’s been in office. I think the economic situation is our biggest worry. And as far as the other thing goes, I haven’t had any serious problems. Actually, I’ve been getting a lot more thumbs ups and high fives since Obama won.”